Never Split the Difference, with Chris Voss
Never Split the Difference is making waves in the business world by demonstrating that negotiation starts with the most counterintuitive skill of empathy. That’s because author Chris Voss is likely the most qualified person to be teaching negotiation. With a long history in international crisis and high stakes negotiations as the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, and a member of the New York City Joint Terrorist Task Force, Chris has negotiated some of the most hostile and challenging situations imaginable.
He’s not only achieved a successful resolution in many cases. More importantly, he has distilled a depth of wisdom that comes from being in the trenches. And he has now translated his experience to help you negotiate as if your life depended on it.
Why We Need to Improve our Negotiation Skills
Opportunities for negotiation enter our lives every day. You’ll see it as you’re building your business and working with clients, team members, and consultants. Even in your everyday life with your family and loved ones, negotiation plays a massive role. Your goal is to get things done that you want and need to happen, in a way that everyone wins.
But, almost always, that’s easier said than done.
Your technician wants to do things their way. HR doesn’t agree with operations. A prospect says yes, then drags their feet. A vendor doesn’t follow through on their promises. Your 6-year-old doesn’t want to brush his teeth.
Enter the need for you to become a skilled negotiator.
However, we create bigger problems when we approach negotiation in the wrong way.
First, we usually avoid negotiation, sidestepping it altogether because we’re afraid of conflict.
Our next approach is usually fighting a battle of wits. This turns into a dueling match over who has the stronger argument of reason and logic.
Finally, and embarrassingly, we resort to discovering who has the louder voice.
But none of these methods work to get cooperation, collaboration, commitment, and follow-through we want.
Tune in to Learn How to Never Split the Difference
In this episode of The Money Advantage podcast, we interview Chris Voss.
Chris says that we should “never split the difference.” It’s code for letting the other side have your way.
To accomplish this, he says that we should approach the conversation with emotional intelligence, tactical empathy, and listening, to build relationships and make deals with people, not against them.
Listen to the conversation here:
Where Negotiation Fits into the Cash Flow System
Today’s conversation will home in on negotiating and deal-making to help you build one of your best investments. Because your business is the one thing, outside of yourself, where you have the most knowledge and control, it deserves your full attention to improving in every way. With each stride in business mastery, you gain the capacity to maximize your cash flow from your business.
So, that’s why you must master the art of negotiation.
As crucial as it is to improve your business, it’s just one step in the bigger journey to time and money freedom.
That’s why we have created the 3-step Business Owner’s Cash Flow System. It’s your roadmap to take you from just surviving, to a life of significance, purpose and financial freedom.
The first step is keeping more of the money you make by fixing money leaks. Then, you’ll protect your money with insurance, legal protection, and Privatized Banking. Finally, you’ll put your money to work, to increase your income with cash-flowing assets.
Who Is Chris Voss, Author of Never Split the Difference?
Chris Voss is CEO of the Black Swan Group and author of the national best-seller Never Split The Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, which was named one of the seven best books on negotiation.
A 24-year veteran of the FBI, Chris retired as the lead international kidnapping negotiator.
Drawing on Chris’s experience in high-stakes negotiations, his company specializes in solving business communication problems using hostage negotiation solutions. Their negotiation methodology focuses on discovering the “Black Swans,” small pieces of information that have a huge effect on an outcome. Chris and his team have helped companies secure and close better deals, save money, and solve internal communication problems.
Chris has been featured in TIME, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Inc., Fast Company, Fortune, The Washington Post, SUCCESS Magazine, Squawk Box, CNN, ABC News and more.
- How to sniff out fake opportunities.
- Why empathy isn’t compassion, sympathy, or agreement. Instead, it’s understanding and articulating the other person’s side.
- Top negotiation strategies to never split the difference, including:
- Let the other side talk
first,because you need to understand first to be understood. People enjoy expressing themselves and want to feel heard, respected, and listened to.
- Slow down the negotiation to speed up implementation.
- Give the deal the opportunity to make itself. Ask, “How do we work together on this?”
- Mirror the last three or most important words the other person said.
- Don’t say “I.” Instead, say “it seems like,” “it looks like,” or “it sounds like” to use labels and verbally observe what is going on with the other person.
- Ask questions to allow the other person to say “no,” rather than “yes.” Saying no makes someone feel safe and protected. However, saying yes opens up all the concerns about how it will work and leads to confusion and distraction.
- “That’s right” is so much more valuable than “you’re right.”
- Let the other side talk
Other Books Mentioned
- The Way of the Wolf: Straight Line Selling: Master the Art of Persuasion, Influence, and Success, by Jordan Belfort
- Beyond Winning: Negotiating to Create Value in Deals and Disputes, by Robert H. Mnookin
- The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups, by Daniel Coyle
Get Never Split the Difference and Connect with Chris Voss
The Black Swan Group provides negotiation training and coaching for individuals and businesses, as well as for law enforcement and government.
Get Chris Voss’s weekly newsletter by texting “FBIEmpathy” to 228-28.
And be sure to get your copy Chris’s book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It.
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