The Go Giver Influencer, with Bob Burg
There is a major problem in the world today: it’s not people disagreeing with one another… it’s that they cannot disagree agreeably, civilly, and most importantly, persuasively! Here, at the end of a turned upside-down year, the gift we need most is a solution. That’s where The Go-Giver Influencer comes in.
In this interview, we’re talking with Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver Influencer.
So if you want a way to find common ground where there appears to be only irreconcilable conflict, and get the secret to achieving your goals, this is the answer you’re looking for… tune in below!
Table of contents
Who “The Go-Giver: Influencer” is For
Bob Burg, along with his co-writer John Mann, has now written four books about the “Go-Giver” parable. The first story is about the seemingly counterintuitive steps to success that can make a vast difference in your life. The Go-Giver Influencer is the second book which tells yet another parable of success, and important lessons about relationships.
[5:09] “John and I… really wanted to take [the concept of] influence to a deeper level because of its importance. Now, in both of the other parables… influence was certainly a part of it. It was even law number three—the law of influence in The Go-Giver. So we have to really look at, ‘What is influence, and why is it important?’”
The answer is people skills. Talent can only take you so far in business and in life. And of course, hard work keeps your talent honed. Yet without people skills, you’ll have a hard time making actual progress toward your goals. Everything we do in life is filtered through the relationships we have with other people. That is where The Go-Giver Influencer comes into play.
What is Influence?
[8:18] “I think that’s the essence of influence, it’s pull. Pull as opposed to push, right? As in, how far can you push a rope? And the answer is not very fast or effectively. Influencers don’t push… their will on others. They don’t try to push their ideas on others.”
You can’t push your way to what you want—it won’t end well for anyone, nor is it sustainable. Influence is the art of pulling, or better yet attracting, people. In fact, the best influencers do this genuinely, because they understand that there’s power behind being inviting.
[10:20] “[Genuine influencers] will ask themselves questions. How does what I’m asking this person to do… align with their goals? With their needs, with their wants, their desires?… How am I helping them overcome a challenge…Now, when we ask ourselves these questions thoughtfully, intelligently, genuinely, authentically—again, not as a way to manipulate another human being to our will, but as a way of building [inaudible]—[we earn] that person’s commitment, as opposed to trying to depend on some type of compliance.”
Healing Political Rifts
2020 has been a tough, sometimes contentious year, and the rift between political affiliations has only grown. We’ve been most concerned by the conversations across political divides, which have put a strain on relationships of all types. And we’re even seeing a shift in the conversation. Between parties, we used to see, “I’m right, you’re wrong” discussions. Though not the healthiest outlook, there was still discussion. Now, the conversation is, “I’m right, you’re evil.”
[18:44] “This is a totally different frame, and one which makes it nearly impossible to engage. Because you’re not going to engage with evil. Evil is incorrigible. There’s nothing you can do with evil. So because of that, what people have done on both sides is hunker down, listening only to the information that supports what they already believe.”
This creates rifts, and healthy communication can’t take root in this type of environment. Healing these rifts and re-opening conversation begins with a willingness to engage. The second step is to try to understand where the other person is coming from, and why. This doesn’t mean you have to agree. Yet, you must attempt to understand those thought processes.
The 5 Secrets of Genuine Influence
1. Master Your Emotions
[22:09] “It’s only when we’re in control of our own emotions that we’re even in a position to take a potentially negative situation or person and turn it into a win for everyone involved. The challenge is, as human beings we’re emotional… Now, what we’re not saying is to deny your emotions…What we can say is, make sure you’re the master of your emotions and they’re not the master of you.”
2. Step Into the Other Person’s Shoes
It’s easier said than done.
[23:10] “The fact is, most of us don’t have the same size feet. So we literally can’t step into another person’s shoes. More importantly, we can’t figuratively step into another person’s mind, or set of beliefs, because we’re not them.”
[24:18] “And the only way we can really step into another person’s shoes is to ask questions and then listen. Really listen. Listen not to shoot them down or to disagree, or to tap into our own biases…just listen.”
3. Set the Proper Frame
[25:00] “A frame is simply the place where it all begins. The frame can be defined as the premise; the foundation from which everything else takes place.”
To have productive conversations, have the right foundation. Just as you must master your emotions, you must also be intentional about the environment you create. Before posting a retort on a Facebook post or making a quick comeback, consider how you want to frame your response and what sort of frame will give you the results you want.
4. Communicate with Tact and Empathy
[29:51] “My dad always defined tact as the language of strength. Which I love, because it takes strength to not just blow up… Tact can really be defined as a way of communicating an idea to someone that they ordinarily would not be accepting of, in a way that, not only are they not defensive of you or your idea, but they’re open and accepting of considering your idea. Empathy is what makes this possible, because it means that we realize this person feels a different way than we do. And we may not understand their feeling exactly because we’re not them, but we can understand they’re feeling something.”
5. Let Go of Having to Be Right
[30:40] “We don’t mean, don’t care about being right, okay? Of course, you want to be right; you want to prepare to be right, you want to have the information to be right, but let go of your attachment to having to be right… Because when we’re not open to this, we become that person, ‘My mind is made up, don’t confuse me with the facts.’ And that person can never learn. When we’re at least open to not having to be right, we go into learners mode. And we can actually equip ourselves with the information to be more right, more times.”
You also broadcast to those you’re speaking with, and those watching that you’re seeking truth, not just seeking a winnable argument.
About Bob Burg
Besides coauthoring the bestselling Go-Giver books with John David Mann, Bob has authored several popular books, including the critically acclaimed, Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales and Adversaries into Allies. His total book sales are well over a million copies.
The American Management Association named Bob one of the 30 Most Influential Leaders and he is one of Inc.’s 100 Great Leadership Speakers. Richtopia named him one of the Top 200 Most Influential Authors in the World.
Bob is an advocate, supporter, and defender of the free enterprise system and believes that the amount of money one makes is directly proportional to how many people one serves. He is also an unapologetic animal fanatic, and served on the board of directors of Furry Friends Adoption & Clinic in his hometown of Jupiter, Florida. For more information, articles and free resources, please visit www.burg.com.
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